Jumping the Hurdles

Everyday you approach obstacles, hurdles. You look in the mirror in the morning and smile, or frown. You choose whether to jump your hurdles or to plow through them, and why yes you move on both ways; one way gives you the fast time, gets you on a good roll. Makes everything else go by smoothly and the other, the other slows you down, pushes you behind, leaves you in the dust. Hurdles are just everyday obstacles you will ALWAYS encounter.

Lately I’ve been plowing through my hurdles, and even though I’ve been given stamina through new accomplishments, new life events, new friendships, memories, and opportunities; I’ve still remained plowing through my hurdles. I still look in the mirror and say “ew” “I’m no good” “I’m such a loser, a failure.”

A new set of hurdles are up ahead and I think I’m going to start jumping them. Life is a race, days are hurdles; you have to decide when you are going to start jumping them…

One Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

Every time one takes one step forward, they almost always take two steps back as well; almost like a dance.

I took a step forward, said i was going to change, to step away- and I did. I stepped forward- I stepped away but just as it was easy to do that-> it was also easy to step right back into what I was; into what I dont want to be anymore.

I took not one, but two steps right back into that figure of falseness. Right back into the lying scared girl I was…

Maybe a step isnt what I need; maybe I need a leap…

The First Step

I enter a room, wearing what I want, saying what I want to say. Acting the way I want to act and I feel good. For once in my life I have taken a step into myself. A step away from that figure of falseness. For once in my life I have started being me and LOVING it.

The first step. That’s all it takes is one step. One step of hope, of courage, of trust. You can change. Its sad that it has taken me this long to realize that; but I have. No longer will I let the thoughts of others diminish my own values and ethics. No longer will I let other get in MY way of being me. No longer will I let you persuade me.

It might be the end of the school year, but I know it’s the beginning of a new me

You don’t know me

you don’t know me.

you don’t know me but yet you judge.

you don’t know where I’ve been, where I’m at or where I plan on going; YOU don’t know me

you don’t know the length of my hair, the size of my thumb, how fast I run, how far I hit, how fast my heart beats YOU. do NOT. know ME.

you don’t know when I wake up or lay down. when I shower or brush my teeth. what shampoo I use.

you don’t know when I eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Or if I even eat them. because YOU do not know ME.

and I do not know you.

I don’t know you and yet I judge.

I don’t know your middle name, the size of your shoe, the time of your birth, the name of your parents.

I don’t know you.

I don’t know

Heartache

to you, its nothing
to me, its pain
to you your free
to me, its a chain

to you, it was easy
to me, its hard
you, you moved on
me, i have a scar

I love you you say
and i dont reply
you dont mean it
and i only sigh

i walk past your class,
and have to look away
i walk past you
and want to punch your face

i cant do this
but you move on
so i will to
and listen to a song

hopefully it isnt one that you like
hopefully it will not remind me of you
hopefully you are happy
cause thats all i want, that times two

thats all i ever wanted
for you to be happy
and if its so
i’ll pack my bags and just go

get out of your life
and start a new one
with a broke heart
but a strong start

Is Jesus really present

While sitting in confirmation class today, i was tested by my teacher. “Bet majority of you dont have ‘proof’ that you are a catholic” what she meant by this is that the teens of today with many social networking advantages do not use the networking to proclaim our faith in Jesus. If we were brought to court, would someone be able to refrence something you typed. I dont see status’ as “goin 2 church. So excited =P” on facebook or tweets saying “YOLO unless ur Jesus #savior” if we were to do this, can you image how much more catholic we would look, and how much closer to Jesus we would become…

God loves you